Share and Share Alike

I've talked before about how astonished I am at the lack of sibling rivalry between Penny and Alex. (Or at least, that it seems to be Alex who is most jealous of attention given to Penny, rather than the more expected other way around.) My brother and I were rivals and enemies pretty much from Day One, and we fought constantly, right up until I moved out of the house to go to college. Which is not to say we didn't also love each other, or ever stand together against larger things... but we definitely did drive our parents crazy with our sniping. As much improved as our adult relationship is, we still run into personality conflict if one of us is tired and already low in patience.

Penny and Alex are... not like that. Not even a little bit.

Penny adores her brother. Occasionally she runs into distress if he starts chewing on a toy that she's particularly attached to, or if he ruins something she's working on -- but she doesn't usually get mad at him, and she learned quickly that the best way to retrieve a toy from his grasp is to offer him something different to latch on to. And when this tactic fails, she's still usually pretty patient with him, long past the point where John and I would have devolved into tug-of-war and screaming.

Penny's happy to share her toys with Alex, actually. She thinks it's cute and funny when he follows her into the playroom and picks up one of her stuffed animals, hugs it, and wanders off with it (unless it's one she was playing with right at that moment, anyway). She loves to play with him, give him hugs and kisses, and tickle him. She occasionally gets too rough, but that's not aggression, it's just a perfectly normal five-year-old lack of judgment. She also frequently fails to understand Alex's signals that mean "I'm tired and want to be left alone," but once again, it's merely a lack of sophistication and nuance on her part and a lack of communication skills on his, both of which are remedied only by time and experience.

The other night, something happened that completely blew my mind.

We've recently cut Penny's dessert consumption back, in an effort to slow her weight gain. She only gets two "sugar" desserts a week, and two sugar-free Jellos. She can pick when she gets them, but once they're used up, they're gone until the next week.

Penny had chosen an ice-cream pop for her dessert -- it's a low-sugar/low-carb item, made palatable by a drizzle of chocolate shell over the ice cream.

Alex, who has learned the joy of ice cream, realized that's what she had. He charged straight up at her and started grunting and opening his mouth like a baby bird.

Ninety percent of the kids I've encountered in my life -- myself included -- would have turned around and said, "No! This is mine!"

Penny giggled at him. "Mommy, look, Alex wants ice cream! Can I give him some?"

Thud. That was the sound of my jaw hitting the floor. "Um, sure," I said, and completely abandoned all efforts to clean up the kitchen to watch this in action.

She picked off a little of the chocolate drizzle and fed it into Alex's eagerly gaping maw. No sooner had he swallowed it than his mouth was open again, and he bounced lightly on his knees, grunting his request. She fed him three or four more bits of chocolate between her own bites, and even let him take an actual bite of ice cream.


I sure hope that some day, Alex can appreciate what an awesome big sister he has.