Projects

My to-do list is getting pretty unmanageably long.

• Research entry-level digital SLR cameras (my under-200 diet reward to myself)


• This year's scrapbook, which I haven't even started yet, though I have the pages and several months of prints ready to go.


• Several solid story/novel writing ideas that need to be fleshed out, and half a dozen snippets that I'd like to capture somewhere before they fade.


• A game plot that I need to sketch detail into, so it's ready to go when the current scum plot is done.


• A vague notion of adding footnotes (translations, whispered comments, unexplained motives, etc.) and some side conversations to the Hall's transcripts.


• The long-standing home decluttering project.


• I promised Penny I'd take her to the beach one day this summer -- need to figure out when I'm doing that. (And buy a swimming suit, beforehand.)


• Get invitations put together for Penny's birthday party.


• Buy and install new filters in the air purifier.


• Move the rest of my old journal posts over here.


• Make appointments for various home improvements and repairs.


• Go through all my clothes and pack up everything that's a 2X or bigger (I'm in a size L now, mostly, but some of the XL stuff still fits okay), and take it to the thrift store.


• Go through the kids' things and get rid of the detritus.

And that doesn't even include my busier-than-ever work list, or the everyday stuff like housework and exercising and allergy shots and...

Am I doing any of it? No. No, I am not. I'm sitting on my ass and reading and re-reading and re-reading old Hall transcripts and other things I wrote five or six or eight years ago.

I told Karen last night that I feel like I'm looking for something, but I can't figure out what I'm trying to find. But I begin to wonder if I'm not hiding, instead. Trying to escape to a time when things were less crazy, when I had time to be me, when I didn't wonder what was slowly slipping away while I was lost in the noise.