I went shopping for Hallowe'en decorations last night. I got streamers and plates and napkins and a tablecloth and stickers and socks and... Lots of stuff. I even stayed away from the nicer things, and it's really quite astonishing how much money you can spend without even thinking about it! This morning, I dug out all the Hallowe'en decorations I already had from previous years, and I think we've got enough, except that we'll need to get plastic cups for the party, and we haven't even started on our costumes yet.
Well, you know me - I'm always one to jump on a bandwagon, and I adore silly surveys, so when I saw in Stitches in Time that the Man @bout Murfreesboro had posted a new survey, you know I had to answer it! So here goes...
1. Would you take the fall for a crime committed by a sibling or parent?
I doubt it. I'm probably the least morally upright member of my family. (My brother went through a brief phase of stealing when he was in high school, but he's over that now.)
2. What's your favorite picnic food?
I guess it depends on what kind of picnic you're talking about. If you're talking about the potluck company or church picnic, then my favorite food is sweet baked beans with bacon in them. If you're talking about a family outing to the park, then it's watermelon.
3. What television show did you like that got canceled way too soon?
I can't even remember the name. Chicago Sons or something like that... It was about three brothers living in the Chicago area. One of them was about college age, and couldn't get dates. One was a couple of years out of college and worked for an architectural firm, and had this nice sexual tension thing going with his officemate/partner. The third was in his thirties or so and had recently separated from his wife. Anyone who can remember the name, let me know because it's driving me crazy.
4. Ever get caught picking your nose?
Not since I was in first grade. At least, not that I've been called on. That's what bathrooms are for!
5. By which school picture are you most embarrassed?
Tenth grade. I'd just decided to let my short hair grow long, and it had just gotten long enough to look nasty straight, so I'd had it permed. The perm fried the ends of my hair. It was awful. I didn't get another perm until after college. (That one simply burnt off all the soft hair at the nape of my neck. I've never had an other - I'm simply doomed to straight hair.)
6. What was your first computer?
MY first computer was a Compudyne 486/33 with a whopping 8M of RAM and an astonishing 200M harddrive. The first computer I ever used was a Tandy TRS-80 Model II. That was my dad's toy. It was fully loaded - a whole 64k of RAM, and two, count them, two! - 8" disk drives.
7. What are you completely and irrationally stubborn about?
Oh, lots of things. Once I start getting stubborn, it's usually fairly irrational.
8. You're offered the political appointment of your choosing. What job do you take?
Hmm. That's a tough one. People like to blame all sorts of things on politicians that the politicians actually have very little control over. I think maybe I'd like to be a Supreme Court Justice. Either that, or an ambassador to a small, politically unimportant, but very rich country.
9. How would you like to die?
Well, leaving off the obvious answer of "not at all"... I'd have to say I'd like to die of extreme old age, in my own bed, at the exact same moment that my extremely aged husband dies next to me.
10. You get to plan your own funeral. Who speaks? Who sings? How do you get sent off?
I want to be cremated after any working organs are donated to living people who can use them. I want to have two different services. I want a funeral (or memorial) at which all my family and acquaintances are weepy and depressed and mourning (anyone who says they don't want their family and friends to mourn them is a BIG FAT LIAR!) and then I want there to be a wake which starts off kindof subdued and quiet and gradually turns into a great huge party where everyone remembers how I was when I was alive and laughs and tells stories and... You know - catharsis.
11. You and a date finish an expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant and discover the waiter has charged you for only one lobster. Do you a) point out the mistake. b) keep quiet and leave a huge tip. c) quickly pay the tab and leave.
We pay the tab at normal speed and then leave, because I don't like seafood, so there will never be more than one lobster on the tab during a dinner for two.
12. To whom are you most likely to lend money? a relative, a friend, a business partner, or the author of this survey.
Hmm. Leaving out the author of the survey (hahaha), I'd have to say a relative - but only certain relatives actually qualify...
13. Ever changed your website just so you could join a ring?
Oh, of course I have. Everyone who's ever joined a ring has changed their website for it - after all, you have to put the ring's links up! But I've never changed content or look and feel for a ring.
14. Ever written on a special topic, just so you could qualify for a web award?
Hmm... I don't think so. Though I'm about to do a special interview, just so I can get my link on Metajournals.
15. Ever submitted your own site for a web award?
Nope. Who would have me?
16. Ever offered a web award of your own conception?
Nope. There are too many web awards floating around as it is.
17. What's your favorite flavor of toaster pastry?
Depends on the brand of pastry. I like frosted strawberry or WildBerry PopTarts, and strawberry and cream cheese Toaster Strudels. (Yeah, I know, I could've just answered strawberry and be done with it, but what if someone wanted to bribe me with toaster pastries? How would they know exactly what to send, I ask you! Oh, and by the way, all you potential bribers - I like Toaster Strudels way more than I like PopTarts.)
18. Ever paid one credit card with another one?
Nope.
19. Ever been hoopsnaked by a home equity loan ad?
Um... What's "hoopsnaked" mean? But since I've only been living in an actual house of my (our) own for six weeks, we're hardly looking at equity loans anyway.
20. To what magazines do you currently subscribe?
Let's see... Mode, Discover (a gift from my mother-in-law), Time, Cooking Light, and Better Homes and Gardens. Also, I usually flip through Matt's Dragon magazine.
21. What's your guilty pleasure?
Food, beyond any shadow of doubt. The stuff I hide is more weird than truly guilty - I like to eat things that are meant to be combined with water without adding the water: boullion and soup mix, hot chocolate powder, like that.
22. What do you do that you do not enjoy simply for appearance sake?
Suffer fools, and pretend that I think babies are adorable.
23. Have you ever taken out a singles ad?
Nope, but I've read them for the humor value.
24. Have you ever lied in a singles ad?
Only because my previous answer was no.
25. When was the last time you bounced a check?
I have never bounced a check, though I once cashed a check that later bounced and royally screwed up my arithmetic.
26. Have you ever camped out for concert tickets? If so, for which concert?
No, but I've given friends money so that as long as they were camping out anyway, they could pick up tickets for me. (Don't look at me like that! It wasn't really camping out - it was just a few hours! For Star Wars: The Phantom Menace tickets!)
27. What's the most embarrassing name ever given to you by a significant other?
"That Bitch." Oh, you mean during the relationship...
28. Ever played truth or dare in an effort to get into someone's pants?
No, but I did play truth or dare in order to get someone to kiss me. (Gimme a break, I was twelve!)
29. Did you have sex in high school?
Yes. I had sex for the first time shortly before the beginning of my senior year. I was 16. I tried to keep it secret from most of my friends, but I'm pretty sure they all guessed.
30. What's your favorite drinking game?
I like reading the rules for movie drinking games. ("Drink every time Luke whines. Drink anytime someone says 'I have a bad feeling about this.' or a paraphrase thereof.") The last drinking game I played was called "I Never..." - but we were playing it with water in order to stave off our hangovers after we were already drunk.
31. What bad habit do you have that no one is supposed to know about?
Well, no one is supposed to know that I'm actually a mad genius supervillian, but of course I'm sure everyone is just being polite and pretending they don't know.
32. Are you completely honest in situations where your name isn't used?
Sometimes. It depends on the situation, of course.
33. Ever urinated in public?
If by "public" you mean "where other people can see me while I do it" then the answer is, not since I graduated from diapers to underpants.
34. Which celebrity would you most like to see drop off the face of the Earth?
Ooh, that's a tough one. Um... Any rock star who thinks it's cool to use a Z instead of an S. Alternatively, I'd like to threaten Adam Sandler with dropping off the face of the Earth until he stops making idiot movies and goes back to moderately amusing CDs.
35. Which celebrity would you most like to bring back from the dead?
Chris Farley - but only so I can kill him myself. He was really awful.
36. If you found out who really killed JFK, who would you tell first?
My husband. Closely followed by my best friend. Duh.
37. What's your favorite comic strip?
It varies. I like Kevin and Kell and Sluggy Freelance and ... Oh, just lots of them.
38. What was the last thing you purchased at Wal-hyphen-Mart? When was that?
I'm not sure. Wal-Mart and K-Mart and Target are all pretty much the same store to me, and I've shopped at all three, though K-Mart and Target are more convenient for me.
39. If you were afforded the opportunity to sleep with one of your friends, who would it be?
My husband, of course. (Yeah, I know, you mean aside from him. I know the answer to that question, too, but you don't think I'm going to post it here, where my husband will read it, do you?)
40. To what superstition do you most adhere?
That gaming dice are not subject to statistical probability. I believe most of them can be "trained" and that some of them are bad eggs while always roll "bad".
41. Elevators or escalators?
Given a choice, in order of preference, I'll take: 1) an escalator, 2) an elevator with a glass front (only up to about 5 stories, though), or 3) a regular elevator.
42. How many justices of the U.S. Supreme Court can you name? No cheating (there are nine).
Um... Scalia, um... (I had Thurgood Marshall listed until Matt reminded me that he's dead...), um... Okay, I'm pathetic when it comes to knowledge of current events, especially where the government is concerned. It irritates Matt to no end.
43. What is the name of your congressman? (or similar government representative for those living outside the US and not in some fascist country that doesn't have a representational government).
Herb Bateman, I think. Or did he finally retire after being in Congress for only four thousand years?
44. What are you a big old geek about?
Oooh, lots of things.
45. Who makes you laugh?
Most of my friends can make me laugh, but my number one reason (if I had to pick only one) for marrying my husband is his sense of humor.
46. Have you ever been in a band? If so, what was it called?
I wanted to be, but my singing is only slightly more pleasant than, say, fingernails on a chalkboard, and I don't play any instruments well enough to qualify.
47. Herbivore, carnivore, or omnivore?
Is there such a thing as a chocolativore or a chipivore? No? Oh, all right, omnivore, then. I like my steak WITH a baked potato and sauteed onions and a big salad with plenty of tomatoes!
48. When playing tic tac toe, which square do you always fill in first? Do you prefer "X" or "O"?
X. One of the corners, but I don't care which one.
49. Does the time 4:20 have any significance for you?
Of course it does! 4:20 is when I only have ten more minutes before I can leave work!
50. What was the biggest prize you ever won?
Um... I won a photo album as a door prize at a baby shower a few weeks ago...
Just to share: This morning our radio DJs read the news, and among the news items was this little gem - A woman called 911 and said there was a man in her house trying to kill her, and then disappeared. Police assisted her very worried husband in looking for her until the husband broke down and confessed that she'd gone missing on purpose in order to avoid having to go to traffic court for doing 101 in a 55 zone.
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