Open Letter: What I Want For Christmas

I seem to keep having this conversation with various friends and family, so let me lay it out in an open letter.

I'm not participating in the round-robin gift exchanges this year. You know -- the sort where everyone in a group draws a name out of a hat, and that's who you get a gift for. I know why they're popular. It's nice not to have to worry about figuring out what everyone wants, or having to shop for a lot of people, or trying to budget for it all.

But here's the thing: I'm doing most of my shopping online, and the bit that isn't, I kind of enjoy. And I'm lucky enough to have a reasonable amount of money this year, so the budget isn't a huge concern for me. And the crux of it, really? Is that I like giving people presents.

There's nothing quite like the thrill of seeing something and knowing immediately who should have it: who would most appreciate its beauty, or use it with joy, or fully understand its humor. Who would be happy to know that I thought of them. Who would, even if the gift isn't quite as perfect as I thought it was when I got it, be grateful to know that I was thinking of them with affection.

And that's what I want from you, for Christmas: that you think of me with affection, rather than obligation. I don't want anyone to think, "Oh, geez, Liz got us something for Christmas, so I guess we'd better get her something, too." If that's your primary thought, then just cross me off the list. Really. I don't want to be a burden -- financially, emotionally, or in any other way. It's the thought that counts -- but take a minute to consider what that thought really is.  Is it, "Crap, another gift to shop for and wrap and take a bite out of my wallet?" Because that's not a very good thought to be sharing. I don't want that thought.

Here are the thoughts I want from you, this year:

"I want you to do things you enjoy."

"I want you to be with people you love."

"I want you to be happy."

"I love you."
I don't care if those thoughts come attached to expensive jewelry, or Amazon gift cards, or bargain-bin DVDs, or dollar-store scrapbooking stickers, or just a warm hug. I swear, I don't. I got your gift with one of those thoughts in my mind, and you have to believe me that I'm getting at least as much happiness from giving it as you are from receiving it. If you can't give me something with just as equitable a return, then we're probably both happier if you just don't give me anything.