This morning, on the way to work, we passed a white-haired couple on bicycles. That, in and of itself, is unusual but hardly surprising. But these were reclining bicycles, which I thought only existed in stationary form in gyms. Full backpacks were strapped to the seat backs, saddlebags were slung over their rear wheels, and they were riding in the middle of the highway lane, side-by-side, rather than in single file in the shoulder, which was paved and plenty wide enough.

Matt and I were both amazed and slightly dismayed. Williamsburg is a very quiet, prosaic little town. You really don't see peculiar things like that around here very often.

Jeremy, when I tried to tell him about it, defended them. "If you're doing long-distance bicycling," he told me, "that's really the only way to go." Also, "It's not normal to pretend to be elves and dwarves and killing monsters, either. You shouldn't complain about other peoples' weirdness." (Jeremy isn't a gamer.)

I found myself vaguely offended. After all, we gamers at least know we're not normal. We admit to it, proudly, and we tease each other for our individual weirdnesses.

But then I thought about it. What, precisely, so disturbed me about this couple? I was moderately irritated that they were riding in the middle of the highway as if they were cars - that sort of behavior always irritates me. Bicyclists seem to think that just because they have wheels, they're entitled to cause traffic problems. But that didn't really disturb me; rudeness only irritates me. (And, to give them the benefit of the doubt, I'll assume that they plan to pull over when the traffic gets heavy enough that zipping around them isn't possible. But only because I'm in a good mood.)

I think, really, it was the saddlebags that got to me. They were made of the same colorful nylon that backpacks are made of, and looked like they held quite a lot. I couldn't see how the edges of the bags didn't get caught in the wheel spokes, but then I didn't stop to look closely - I assume the backs were stiffer than the fronts looked. And actually, it seemed like a very good idea. But the very idea that long-distance bicycling could possibly be popular enough to warrant actually manufacturing something like that disturbs me.

I couldn't wait to ditch my bicycle. It had nothing to do with effort or exercise, either. I was in good shape in high school. And I was a good bicyclist - I could ride all the way around my block (well, when you live at the end of a cul de sac, it's more like a blob than a block) without once touching the handlebars. In fact, I preferred riding without touching the handlebars, because that was the only way I could sit up straight. But I still didn't care for the bike. I just couldn't get where I wanted to go with the damn thing. Around the neighborhood, sure. But all my friends lived at least five miles away, along roads that were not safe to travel at less than 40 miles per hour. Once my best friend got a car, that was the end of the bicycle, though for all I know it's still hanging up in my dad's garage.

I've never understood the appeal of bicycling to begin with. Narrow, hard seats (and don't try to tell me otherwise; even the wide, padded ones feel narrow and hard when you've been on them for more than ten minutes. I remember!) An operating angle that's got to be terrible for your back and posture (it certainly hurts enough!) And nowadays the brakes are always on the handlebars, so you can't avoid killing your back by learning to steer without them. Dozens of gears that really don't make any difference in the long run - your legs hurt from pushing harder, or they hurt from pedaling faster, what's the difference? And that stupid bar? It used to be that girls' bikes didn't have a bar, but they all have them, now, unless you want a mountain bike. I've got news for these people: I'm short. I cannot straddle these bikes without getting a wedgie from that stupid bar. They simply do not make a frame short enough for me to avoid that bar - and I'm not even really all that short. I'm just not tall. (Yeah, the bar really offends me.)

I can understand biking as an exercise - it probably beats the heck out of jogging. But I never have and probably never will be able to comprehend biking for pleasure. It's just not a pleasurable activity.

I can understand that there are a few people who will enjoy any activity and make a vacation out of it, like this old couple going gods-know-where very slowly. Good for them, I say. At least they're taking the time to enjoy the trip as well as the destination. But the idea that there are enough people who enjoy this that there are actually manufactured saddlebags really bothers me.

Someone tell me this is just a fad.