I had hoped that giving up Facebook for Lent would spur me to some kind of increased productivity. More work on the scrapbook, or more writing, or something.
But apparently it's not as easy as that. I think I've done all of two and a half scrapbook pages in the last month. And I haven't written as much as I'd like, either -- mostly just a few snippets, really.
I'm not frittering my time away on Facebook, but I'm frittering it away nonetheless. I'm reading instead of writing. I'm watching TV. I'm playing on Neopets and PopCap and my iPhone. I'm not even speaking up on the forums I'd been getting sort of active in.
And when I do force myself to open up a document and try to write... it doesn't want to come. The stuff I force out has barely any meat, and no connective tissue at all. And certainly no beating heart. The scrapbook pages are dull and uninspired.
I'm trying to figure out if I need to bull through this block, or stop trying for a little while and take a break. Creativity begets creativity, usually, but am I trying too hard and merely feeding my sense of discouragement? Should I step back and work on the Scum plot I was thinking about, and hope that leads to something bigger and better? Focus on taking pictures instead of mounting them for a while?
I wish I could take a retreat. Spend a week -- or better yet, a month -- living entirely by myself, somewhere with no internet access at all, with a computer that doesn't have any games installed on it. I'd take all my scrapbooking stuff and pictures for the last six months (which is about how far behind I am). I'd take my camera gear. No books, aside from a dictionary and a thesaurus. No phone. No email. No TV. Just me, and my creative tools, and the tattered, ragged shell of my muse.
It does not sound relaxing. It does not sound like fun. But it does sound like a small slice of heaven.
Alas, I don't have a spare month. I need to figure out how to revive and rejuvenate my muse in the environment I've got.
And I need to figure out why I feel like I'm running out of time.