I had the most obnoxious dreams last night.
In the first, I dreamed that we killed my mother. Matt looked at me and said something like, "She just can't be controlled," and we added Pine-Sol to a drink and gave it to her. (In the little universe of my dreams, apparently this was a completely untraceable way to kill someone.) But while we were waiting for her to die, I realized that we'd already killed my brother and at least three other people for pretty much the same reason - they were uncontrollable - and I was just tired of killing people. So I thought I'd take my mom to the hospital and see if they could cure her. I have no idea how it turned out, because I woke up about then.
Then I dreamed that I was at my high school class reunion. Not unreasonable - it's coming up this summer. All these people were there that I'd completely forgotten about, and I was having a great time talking to people. My high school boyfriend, Bjõrn, was there (with this really awful little goatee) but he was avoiding me because Matt was there with me. I was a little hurt, because I wanted to introduce them - I thought they'd get along pretty well. But Bjõrn kept avoiding me, and Mila was telling me, "I told you so."
Anyway, I was sitting with a bunch of other people under this tarp outside, and my friend Jen was sitting on the ground near me (I don't know why; she didn't graduate from my high school) and my friend Jo, whom I haven't so much as thought of in the last three years, showed up and I asked about her daughter. Then something dripped on me, and I turned around. About fifty feet away, there were these crocodiles hanging from a tree over a lake, fighting with each other. After the longest time, they finally fell into the lake, and as they did, this huge splash of water came up and soaked everyone who wasn't under the tarp, and the people who were under the tarp didn't exactly escape unscathed. (It was like being at a water show, actually.) The crocodiles were doing these enormous, agile leaps in the water - they acted more like dolphins, really, but they were definitely crocs - and every time they landed, the water would splash. Everyone thought this was sortof fun, and I was just thinking, "The crocodiles weren't nearly as numerous when I was in high school," when they decided to come over to us. Everyone sortof froze in panic, the way people do when a potentially unfriendly dog wanders up, and one of the crocs started sniffling at Jen's bare toes. We were all hissing, "Don't move!" at her, but then this really enormous crocodile came up - it was the size of a bus - and I started to get really scared. Then I remembered that we'd been given these little jars of cream to repel the crocodiles with, and I found mine and started rubbing the cream all over my arms and legs, and then I reached down and smeared some on Jen's foot that the croc had just about made up his mind to eat. All the crocodiles wrinkled their noses as if to say oh, gross and waddled back into the lake.
Then I saw this hippopotamus just running through the water toward the crocodiles. (In the little universe of my dream, hippos were the natural enemies of crocodiles.) The crocs all got scared and started swimming away, but of course it was a circle-shaped lake, and the hippo just chased them around and around... Then I realized that it wasn't a hippo at all, but this little sortof table-shaped robot. It had been designed to scare the crocs - the way that its feet hit the bottom of the lake made the crocodiles think that it was a hippo, but it didn't look like one at all. I was marveling at the engineering when I woke up.
And that's why I'm not awake enough to put down a real journal entry today. Anyone who wants to take a stab at an analysis is welcome to try.
10:30 AM - I'm sleepy and I've got a headache that actually feels like a mild hangover (sinus headache, I guess) and I don't want to do any work today. I'm reading a new journal that the Mighty Kymm recommended because it's basically a sappy love story, and I like sappy love stories, especially when I'm not feeling well. I'll probably add it to my other journals page soon. But my eyes were hurting (she's got a purple page with light yellow text) and I decided to take a break. Besides, when I'm typing away at this page, it sounds almost like I'm working.
So yesterday I skipped out on my Weight Watchers meeting to run some errands with Matt. We stopped by our house lot, and while they haven't actually done anything new yet, a whole pile of cinderblocks has been delivered to the site, so I guess that means they'll be starting the foundation soon. (Maybe even today, if it doesn't rain!)
I thought about going to Roses to pick up some more yarn for the stained-glass afghan that I'm making, but I decided I'd rather catch the last half of the Muppet show, so we went home instead. After dinner, we went to K.T.'s to pick up our anniversary present.
I confess, I was confused. At the party on Saturday, KT told me that the present wasn't done yet. Monday, she sent me an e-mail telling me that we needed to pick it up on Monday or Tuesday or it would be too late. So (I confess, somewhat disgruntled by the insistence that we hurry) we rearranged our schedules for it, because Thursday is really the only night that we have completely free. But I'm glad we did, because it turned out to be the most adorable cake in the shape of a dragon. And a dark pink jellybean formed the tongue that was sticking out. It was just the cutest damn thing! I ate one of the tufts of "grass" frosting, though, and I hope to god the rest of the cake uses a different recipe, because it was stale and flavorless! (But decorating icing frequently is. I'm holding out much higher hopes for the main cake.)
I brought my leftovers from Outback to have for lunch today. I usually wait to have leftovers like that for the weekend, but then I thought - why bother? I'm going to fix it all in the microwave anyway, and I didn't really want to do much in the way fixing lunches this morning. So Matt is having leftover Chinese food, and I'm having leftover steak. Hmm. Doesn't seem quite fair, does it? (Though I've only got about 1 1/2 oz. of steak to eat. The rest of it is half a sweet potato and some grilled onions, which isn't any more exciting than the Chinese food.)
Okay, that's boring. I'll stop now, I promise.
2:30 PM - I've been tired and headache-y and I was just on the verge of telling myself that if I promised to be good on my diet, I could skip going to the gym after work.
But then I remembered that cookie I ate this morning, and while nothing is really off limits, eating sweets just makes me want more sweets, so that was bad of me. So I have to go to the gym anyway. But then I was thinking about the weight-lifting stuff I tried on Monday, and maybe I'll do that; it's a little more relaxed than trying to get my heart rate up and keep it there. Whether I do the whole set or just the weights I'm interested in depends on whether my headache gets better or worse once I get started.
I've got an appointment on Friday with a cleaning service. They're going to come to my apartment and tell me how much they'll charge to clean it. I've been thinking of getting a cleaning service for a long time, because I really prefer to live in a clean place, but I'm am a terribly lazy housekeeper. I don't mind so much taking out the trash or putting the dishes in the dishwasher, but the "real" cleaning - vacuuming and sweeping and mopping and scrubbing the sinks and bathtub - I just hate doing it, and so I don't. So, I decided to just admit that to myself and get the damn maid service.
Then I started calling around and getting estimates. Every place in the Williamsburg phone book charges a minimum of $40 a visit. I was thinking of a cleaning every other week, which means $80 a month. It sounded like a lot of money. (Never mind the fact that I've been known to blow over $200 in a single month on books, and that my average book/comic budget for a month is approximately $75.) It just sounded like a lot.
It finally dawned on me that as soon as I get my next paycheck, I'm going to be paying off the last of my student loan. I've been paying $200 - $250 on that loan for the last several years, and it's finally going away. So surely, out of that $200 that I'm getting back, I can spare the $80 for the cleaning service. I felt much better.
Now, I'm embarrassed. Why? Because this cleaning service person is going to come to my apartment, and it's completely disgustingly filthy. This seems to be a bit stupid: If the house was clean, I wouldn't need a cleaning service, would I? I'm sure they've seen dozens, if not hundreds, of filthy apartments and houses before. And given the state of some of my friends' places, ours isn't even all that bad, really. But I still feel embarrassed, and I'm sure I'll embarrass myself even further by saying something stupid to the evaluator like, "Please excuse the mess." The fact is, I guess, that I want the service to think I hired them because I want to stop doing the housework, when the fact is that I never really started it in the first place.
Oh, well. No hope for it. I'll just have to live with being embarrassed, because I refuse to clean the place before the maid comes! It's just too absurd!
I gave my statistics a look this afternoon, and it looks like I have about eight regular readers! Yay! (Of course, three of them were easily identifiable as friends, and if I then add up the other people who know me in real life and have admitted to regular readings of my journal, that takes care of most of the rest.) But there were three I.P. addresses that I couldn't identify easily: One at UCSF, one at W&M, and one at AOL. No clue who those people could be. Could I actually have readers who don't know me in real life? How astonishing. (Will I be embarrassed if I find out that the AOL reader is my mother-in-law? Have I said anything here I don't want my family to read? No, I don't think so - after all, my mother was reading the journal for a little while before she got too busy to surf, so I tend to keep that in mind...)
But you haven't signed my guestbook!
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